Chase by Kate Breuer

Author:Kate Breuer [Breuer, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-05-08T16:00:00+00:00

Liz is silent during dinner. She usually keeps the conversation going. I’m not much of a talker. So if she doesn’t talk, it’s much too quiet. This isn’t like her. Something is going on.

I remember her recent confession and wonder if something happened at home. I look her up and down, expecting to find bruises.

Scared of the answer, I force myself to ask, “Are you okay? You seem distant today.”

She looks up from her plate. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Just a little tired.” She returns her attention to her meal.

Something is definitely wrong. And whatever it is, she doesn’t want to tell me.

I give her time for a few spoonfuls before trying a different approach. “This is delicious. I don’t know where you learned to cook this well.”

It’s true. The food is really good. But that’s not why I said it. I want to get her talking.

“Well, my mom taught me,” Liz answers with a pensive look on her face. “Like I’ll teach my kids someday. I can teach yours—if you ever have any. They can cook for you, so you don’t starve.” She laughs and looks at me expectantly.

“Kids?” I ask bitterly. “I’m not even married yet. Guess you’ll have to feed me a little while longer.”

She smiles and searches my face. “I know. But wouldn’t it be nice to have a baby?”

A suspicion hits me. Fuck.

I put both hands on the table and rise halfway. “Are you pregnant?”

She shakes her head vigorously. “Nope, definitely not pregnant. Just curious . . .” She pauses for a little too long. “You getting matched made me think about what it would be like—you know—if any of it was real.”

I’m not sure I like that she’s old enough to know how fucked-up this society is.

I imagine myself sitting at the table with Susan. Our young kids are there—a boy and a girl. They eat the same soup Liz made today. Susan laughs at the baby girl, who is getting more food on the table than in her mouth. The young boy is talking rapidly about something that happened at kindergarten that morning. A perfect fantasy.

But it’s not real. It makes me more certain I can’t marry Susan. I want this future. I just don’t want it with Susan. I want it with someone I care about. I want a wife I love. Kids. Go to the climbing gym with them. Read them bedtime stories.

For a moment, the fantasy changes. No longer Susan, but a stranger. A stranger who looks a lot like the woman I saw earlier tonight—I shake my head. I don’t even know the woman. Why am I intrigued by her?

Liz scratches her almost empty bowl. I’m pulled back to reality. I find Liz watching me, as if trying to read my mind. She’s really weird today.

“Yeah, it would be nice if it were real. But that’s not an option . . . Oh, I met her today.”

Liz drops her spoon. Soup splatters on the table.

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